Day Two

So, homeschooling is a lot like parenting in general really. Parenting any one child is not a problem, although they can be rotten little mongrels. But even the most stubborn child is no match for a parent one on one.

However, the little bastards can sense weakness... or the best/worse possible timing to pounce/strike/act out. They sense it like sharks sense blood in the water and they go into a "badness frenzy".

A child who was fairly well behaved, and say... writing a paper... will sense that another child who is say... supposed to be taking a nap, is resisting. And the child who was fairly well behaved can't stop himself. He must start being a turkey. And with that, the child who was calmly watching the whole thing from your arms and chewing on your thumb senses the "badness frenzy" and proceeds to pee through her diaper, pants, and most of the upper west side of MANHATTAN, requiring an instant diaper and outfit change for both of you... while the nap resister is now OUT OF BED, in the hallway, asking if his nap can be over, ALTHOUGH IT NEVER ACTUALLY STARTED.

And lest you lose it and start yelling, you must take control of the situation. You get the non-paper writing turkey and explain that school will not be over until this assignment is done and done well... even if that takes FOREVER. Then, you turn to the nap resister and explain that if they don't get back into bed you will be forced to kill them dead and tell Daddy about their bad behavior as though to further malign the dead. And the babe in arms? Well, she just needs a warm bottle and a trip to the swing of sleeping plus four. No one can resist the sleeping swing. In fact, I would pay good money for the adult version. There would be money to be made there. A large motorized swing that's incredibly comfortable, plays music, and does a little light show for you? Who wouldn't want that?!?

The previous may or may not be an accurate snapshot of Day Two at that moment in time. What I do want to report is that I am loving this. There are moments, like say... hypothetically the previously described moments... where I want to be parentless and working any other job in the known universe. But there are also moments like the rest of the posts I will be blogging today. And THOSE moments are awesome. And since this is only Day Two, and we are still very much in the "testing to see what we can get away with" stage, it will just keep getting better from here!

-Headmistress DE